day 3 — before

i am unsure of when « before » is
i was changed by the arrival of Paul in our lives
already, i wasn’t exactly the same as i used to be

the before in this image
before Paul was gone
before he was no longer with us
it shows
the person i longed to be
the person i hoped to be

a mother holding my child’s hand
through the world
guiding him
letting myself be guided

Paul was two weeks old
sleeping against me
protected from the cold by the warmth of my body
womb-like, through the forest

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